


And How Do You Support Your Expensive Taste?

by surrealmeme



Series: MCU Canon Divergent Frostiron [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Economics, Humor, M/M, Money, Stock Market, but no known income, loki has expensive taste, so how does he pay for all his fancy shit???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 07:13:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15165389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surrealmeme/pseuds/surrealmeme
Summary: Loki has expensive taste - custom designer suits, fancy gourmet dinners, a huge posh apartment in New York city. And let's not get started on his love for ridiculously expensive pocket squares.There's no way SHIELD gives him a stipend, not when Thor gets paid nothing for being an Avenger. Besides, said stipend would be next to nothing. And there's absolutely no fucking chance that Loki, a prince of Asgard and a god, as he so likes to periodically remind people, would ever work a job on Earth.So, one Tony Stark would very much like to know how the hell Loki supports his expensive tastes.





	And How Do You Support Your Expensive Taste?

“You can’t possibly think me that predictable,” Loki said, “that would be terribly dull.”

Clint shrugged.

“It sure seems like an uniform when it’s the only color you ever wear,” he said.

For the following two weeks, not a single article of green clothing - not even a stripe on a tie - could be found on Loki’s body. It was interesting at first, but the Avengers began to feel as though something was strangely and subtly wrong about it. It was only a color, and yet its absence felt as off as it would if Tony never made a sarcastic comment for those two weeks.

“I’m not saying the change was a _bad_ thing,” Tony said one evening, “but it’s one of those those things that’s become like a part of you to us. It's kinda weird.”

Loki’s lips curled up into a grin.

“Is that why you’ve actually decided to help me get dressed for once instead of blatantly staring as you otherwise do?” he said, holding up the green shirt Tony had handed him.

“I don’t stare, I appreciate,” Tony countered while rifling through Loki’s exponentially growing collection of pocket squares. It was ridiculous, as were the contents of Loki’s closet in general - the sheer excessiveness of it all! And this was coming from Tony Stark.

“How did you get all this?” Tony asked.

“All what?”

“Your clothes, obviously,” Tony said, gesturing to the expansive and meticulously organized closet.

“I bought them, as one does,” Loki answered. “Does that surprise you? Because you expect me to have stolen them?”

Tony momentarily considered lying, a thought which he then dismissed as an utterly idiotic idea, because 1) Loki could sniff out lies just as well as he could tell them and 2) what was the point? It’s not like Loki was going to be offended.

“Honestly, yeah,” Tony said.

“The suits I actually couldn’t have stolen,” Loki said. “The rest? I considered it, for some. But I had no true reason to bother doing so.”

Tony was confused at first, as to why Loki said he couldn’t have stolen the suits. Then he considered the god’s now very clearly expensive tastes and his tendency to scoff at anything that fell just barely below his standards. And then it was all too clear.

“They’re all damned custom-made, aren’t they!” Tony said, laughing. Of _course_ Loki only wore custom suits. “You can’t just steal it and walk off because there isn’t anything _to_ steal, you fancy bastard.”

An even funnier point then occurred to Tony, which he also blurted out:

“And I _know_ you don’t have any friends or even acquaintances on Earth besides me and the rest of the team,” he laughed. “So whenever you’re at one of those ‘appointments,’ you’re fucking getting your suit tailored!”

Loki glared at Tony.

“Live as long as I have and someday you’ll learn that appearances have a very significant effect on how you’re perceived and treated,” he said in a clipped tone.

 _Oof, there’s some backstory there_ , Tony thought. _Hope I didn’t fuck up_ too _much._

Fortunately, Loki had not been very offended and soon returned to his normal demeanor. Besides, he couldn’t deny that he saw the humor in the situation.

“You said you bought all that stuff,” Tony said as they walked out of Loki’s apartment complex. “How? You don’t have a job, or some kind of fund, and I’m obviously not buying you them like a sugar daddy.”

Loki snorted.

“No, indeed,” he said to Tony’s last statement. “Let Thor catch you saying something like that and you’ll be short a hand to swipe that credit card with,” he jokingly warned.

“What, because I _dared_ to touch you?” Tony quipped back. “That’s one overprotective big brother you’ve got there.”

“That he is, foolish and unnecessary as it may be,” Loki said.

They laughed, and Tony was glad that Loki no longer flatly and immediately denied his relation to Thor.

The conversation shifted to other things, and Tony’s question about Loki’s finances remained unanswered. But that was fine - with Loki’s tastes for only the best money could buy, Tony was sure the topic would come up again.

+++

Two weeks later, Tony saw his chance.

“I’d hope that no one on Asgard saw you changing into _that_ ,” Loki remarked about Thor’s choice in clothes. “You look a step away from homeless.”

“The people’s opinion of me has not been tarnished, I assure you, brother,” Thor said, “and it’s what I have. Midgard refuses to accept Asgardian gold as payment, no matter how much I vouch for its unimaginable value. And I receive no recompense for my services in the Avengers.”

Loki frowned a little.

“That should be rectified,” he said, a little primly in Tony’s opinion. “It’s hardly appropriate for one of your status on both Asgard and Midgard.” Actually, scratch that - _way_ more than a little primly.

Thor brightly smiled. He was past expecting or hoping for explicit shows of affection from Loki, but knew that this was one of his veiled ways of expressing it.

“I’ll leave you to that,” Thor said, walking to the pantry. “Thanks.”

Loki briefly smiled a small and genuine smile that Tony wasn’t sure had actually existed or not. He would have to ask JARVIS later. He _did_ immediately take his chance, though.

“If SHIELD won’t pay Thor for being an Avenger, there’s no way in hell they’re giving _you_ money,” Tony said. “So how’re you paying for the designer clothes, fancy dinners, and posh apartment?”

“Cash,” Loki answered and without another word, he set off for the bar. “Would you like a drink?” he offered. “I bought this rare scotch the other day.”

Loki held up the bottle and Tony recognized it instantly. It was the one he’d had his eye on for a while as he debated whether Pepper’s lecture about squandering his money would be worth it - the scotch cost at least tens of thousands of dollars.

Loki smirked and poured a glass.

+++

Loki’s claim was later verified when he snatched up the check before Tony was even halfway to it, slipped a wallet out of his pocket, and removed a few hundred-dollar bills.

“Hey, let me see one of those,” Tony said, and Loki pulled another bill out of his wallet and placed it in Tony’s hand.

Tony examined it, holding it up to the light and checking for small details that would give a forgery away.

“Legal tender, almost mint condition,” he declared, “and I would know.”

Loki shrugged, as if to say, “I told you so.”

Tony’s brow furrowed and he said,

“You don’t have a bank account, so how -” he abruptly stopped, struck by a flash of insight. “Don’t fucking tell me you magicked them up.”

Loki grinned.

“Not the verb I would have chosen, but yes,” he said, conjuring two crisp twenty-dollar bills. “This should suffice for a tip?”

Tony nodded, a little absentmindedly, as he debated with himself over how he felt about this new revelation. Loki, who had anticipated such a dilemma, said,

“They’re not _actually_ counterfeit; you’ve even confirmed that yourself. And I personally think I’m _helping_ your economy - no one has to pay me and I’m providing revenue to businesses, no?”

For a moment, Tony looked utterly scandalized - leave it to the issue of money to manage getting that look on his face.

“ _No!”_ Tony first exclaimed. “Sure, what you said makes some degree of sense, from the most simplified perspective I can imagine, but, just off the top of my head, think of the…”

Tony kept going as they exited the restaurant, darkly muttering about economic jargon that meant nothing to Loki, who admitted as much when Tony was done.

“I truly did not understand a word of what you just said. Even the Allspeak could not translate it - there are simply too many terms that don’t exist on Asgard.”

Despite his being utterly puzzled, Loki looked very intrigued, both of which Tony took as compliments.

“You up for a crash course on,” Tony snorted, it was too funny, “ _Migardian economics_?”

And when did Loki ever turn down a challenge that had his intelligence’s reputation on the line?

+++

Unsurprisingly, Tony went off on several tangents, which ultimately resulted in not only Loki’s quite sufficient edification in economics but also his more specialized knowledge of the stock market. Armed with that, a watertight false identity, and considerable base funds, Loki entered the trade like a predator. One day, after checking his stocks, Loki said with a wicked glint in his eyes,

“Give me a decade - give or take a few years - in the market, and I’ll be as wealthy a man as you are, Anthony."

**Author's Note:**

> As you can probably tell, I know nothing about economics.


End file.
